"I spent my liearching for the perfect woman. I finally found her but alas, she was searching foe perfect man." Anonymous

I was a professi matchmaker for several years - trying to help singles meeters with whom they shared common interests and complementpersonality traits. I met with my clients in person and theye screened to ascertain their real names, addresses, edion, marital status. Most importantly, I tried to help them determine the type of person they were really seeking that's where most of the problems arose.

Even though myents verbalized that they were happy to be matched based upon compatibility, this was not true! These problems I encountered were:

1) A number of clients were seeking otherinly based on
appearance.

I would show each nlient photos of existing clients based on their characteristas well as their appearance. Unattractive people sometimes became offended wI matched them with their physical counterparts. A dowdy sixtyish woman aske, "Is that what you think of me?" when I attempted to match her with men in her age and looks category.

Many clientemed to be totally unaware of how they looked to others and wa matches that were highly inappropriate. Wihese people, compatibility had no bearing on their matches.
They wanted test looking people in my book!

2) Some clients refused to compromise - even when med with
someone they liked!

I matched two emely overweight people who liked each other immediately and out on several dates. Before their last meeting for a Sundovie date, the woman asked to meet at 7:00 pm instead of the0 show. The man became annoyed, broke the date, and immedia ended their budding relationship. He, who was a part-time telemarketer, tol he needed time on Sunday evenings "to get ready for his on Monday." Because she needed to reschedule their date, he was totally turned off to her regardless of prior interest and their compatibility.

3) Others had a Wish List for their Perfect Person and expected
m find the person on that list for them.

One divorced man in late 30's expressed a desire for a woman who had a specitype of nose. (Really!) A never-married woman ir early 30's with pale blonde hair and very light skin want man with very, very dark skin (but not an African-American)o earned at minimum $75,000 per year, was not in Sales, hader been married and had no children. I had twelve men who med her description in my data base but she found something w with each one and refused to go out with any of them. She then lained about my service and was upset because she 'had not had one date'. AARRGGHH!!!

An Indian medictudent saw her photo and was instantly smitten. They hady things in common and each was what the other was seeking. Hs very excited about meeting her; however, before they met wanted a guarantee of a successful relation- ship which I of course could not give him. They never met and as far as I k both are still single and searching.....

My advice: Don't s yourself in the foot! If you are meeting a lot of people anst can't seem to connect, ask yourself if you really wantelationship. Are you ready and willing to be close with anotherson? If you constantly find fault with others, ask yourself questions and be a bit more tolerant. Don't expect to fiour perfect person because he or she does
not exist. Be happy if you find Ms. or Mr. Almost-Perfect. Good luck!

About the author:
Terrnold, MS (Spicy Grandma) has a Masters Degree in
counng and has been a Psychotherapist for over twenty
s. She invites you to visit her popular interactive,
personalized and informative 50+ dating community at
http://www.spicy-senior-singles.com.

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